Today marks the due date of baby Stuemke that has never been met. 5 years ago today we should have been welcoming our first baby Stuemke. Although I am still saddened by the fact that my child is not here with me. I am comforted by God who holds my baby who is waiting for me to finish here on earth. The pain dulls with time, but the memories of love for someone I have never met strenghtens with time. God has allowed us to grow as a family, and I have learned just how precious children are to Him.
Today is a day I remember to pray for the other women who have lost a child. I pray it will not deter them from God, but bring them closer, that they will find another women who has gone though it.
Before my miscarriage and my 1 1/2 years of depression to follow, I had not known anyone else to lose a child. But I soon realized that it wasn't that it didn't happen, it was that women didn't speak of it. which meant they weren't able to console others who were suffering. I soon found out that of my three close friends, and a few family memebers have had one. I then decided that I wasn't going to dwell on this, but find out what God wanted me to do with these feelings of hurt and emptiness. Soon after that I was pregnant again. My little Girl was born that June beautiful and perfect.
I have realized that I am not to start a club or an organization, but to be open when I find a friend. Since the loss of our first baby, six of my friends have lost babies of thier own, some have lost two. I now know how to pray and love them in the propper way. And stay back until they are ready for any comfort.
My God is amazing and can use anything or anyone for His glory.
I will never forget my unknown baby, but instead we remember with angel food cake once a year. We don't sing or anything, just remember.
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